Leaders are Cheerleaders Series: Part 1 – Self-Compassion and Positive Self-Talk

When you think of a cheerleader, does your direct (boss) leader come to mind? If the answer is not a resounding yes, you may need to demonstrate a cheerleading quality before expecting others to do the same. What do I mean? Well, self-compassion and positive self-talk. To be a cheerleader to others, you must first be kind, supportive, and celebratory to yourself (or should at least try to)

The Leaders are Cheerleaders Series will focus on becoming a cheerleader (Part 1) so you can recognize and welcome the cheerleading squad of leaders around you (Part 2). Once you realize there are cheerleaders around you, you can grow as a leader and become a cheerleader to others (Part 3). To wrap up the series, you must focus on creating and supporting new leadership cheerleaders (Part 4).

Let’s dig in to arm yourself with the tips and tricks to become your best leadership cheerleader.

Tip 1 – Focus on the wins (daily)

I recently listened to Bluefishing on Audible, where the author focused not on the day’s failures but on the wins. Wins can be small, they can happen over your day, and they can be significant. It’s the small wins that help you grow as a cheerleader. Steve Sims, author of Bluefishing, suggests seeing failures as growth opportunities. As your cheerleader, start seeing the daily challenges as another learning opportunity and track your wins instead.

How, you might ask:

• A daily tracker
• Journaling
• Celebration Chart

Quite honestly, do what is right for you – make it a habit to track your wins! Consistency is key.

I think periodically throughout the day about what’s working, what went well, and what I may need to work on – my growth opportunities. My recent focus on those wins has come at work and in my fitness.  

From a work perspective, I was recently promoted (a big win I’ve been working towards), and I receive daily coaching on next-level expectations and areas to work on (strategic thinking comes to mind) that I would normally take as a failure. I’ve become my own leadership cheerleader, focusing on the daily small wins. If I could not see the coaching as growth opportunities, I’d be buried in a pile of impostor syndrome, thinking how much I suck at my role. Honestly, it’s been a game changer for me and one I choose to share with others when asked how I’m doing. I’m open to sharing my daily wins vs. focusing on growth moments.

Tip 2 – Positive self-talk

When you show yourself some self-compassion, you lean into more positive self-talk. When you can speak (inner or outer voice) to yourself more positively, you are bound to speak more positively to others. 

From a work perspective, my best self-talk lately is telling myself that I’m uncomfortable due to many changes in my role, but I will be more competent as the days and weeks go on. My need for daily or weekly coaching will lessen, and I will be ready for my next challenge soon.  

From a personal perspective, non-work related, but 100% necessary for mental and physical well-being is taking up cycling. Having a peloton since early into COVID does not compare to taking up road, gravel, mountain, and fat biking. My inner cheerleader encourages me when biking up a big hill, and knowing if I don’t lead myself up that hill, I will have to walk up with my bike. Those wins I celebrate on my bike help me show up as a better leader in the office. Practicing self-compassion for my inner critic of not being great or even good, shows I’m making progress and has undoubtedly elevated my compassion for others’ learning and growth.

How can you improve your self-talk:

• Take up something new where you need to be your cheerleader to progress 
• Find the mini-wins, both personally and professionally, where you can encourage your growth

Tip 3 – Find ways to stretch and test yourself

When you stretch yourself to doing something new, you tend to start demonstrating more positive self-talk. You might try to read more, speak up in meetings, or give a presentation. All these ideas can help you increase your self-compassion, making others want to be around you more. When you demonstrate to others that you are willing to stretch, you are more likely to be a better leader to others. Without self-compassion, how can others trust your genuineness when being a cheerleader to them? Consider sharing your stretches. When I’ve shared with my team, peers and mentees, that being out of my comfort zone helps me grow as a leader, which ultimately, helps them gain valuable insights into their own growth.

Being your cheerleader through self-compassion and positive self-talk, you will recognize the signs when someone needs you to be their cheerleader. When you know you cannot be a cheerleader for yourself, you will have the self-compassion to ask someone else to be one for you.

Cheerleading is not always balloons, pompoms, and rainbows. When something is amiss – an excellent growth opportunity, you need to find the words to explain to someone to see the potential and actions they need to take to move forward. Practicing this yourself is an excellent example of demonstrating the way for others.

Some great reads that have helped me gain more positive self-talk:

• Crucial Conversations – By Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny & Ron McMillan
• Rise – By Patty Azzarello
• Change your story, change your life – Kindra Hall

Stay tuned for Part 2 – Recognizing and welcoming your leadership cheerleading squad.

Follow Penny on LinkedIn or checkout theizzyway.ca for more of her blog posts.